I was just thinking...

Periodically I have to just empty my brain of all of the stuff running around in there. Most times I accomplish this by going for a walk and talking to myself. It's currently raining and since I don't feel like getting wet...I thought I would just write out a few of those things and clear out my head that way.

*warning...the following post may contain foolishness and zaniness*

Things that are making me go hmmmmm!


Has the phrase "Keepin It Real" been reduced to mean..."it's easier for me to be rude and not consider the words I'm about to say..."hmmmm


If B.E.T. (which stands for Black Entertainment Television) is owned by white people...can it still be called B.E.T...hmmm

Is it a coincidence that Black History Month is recognized during the shortest month of the year...hmmm

If One month of the year is used to celebrate the contributions of Blacks....who do the other eleven months belong to...hmmmm

Should Black people consider themselves lucky , after all Hispanics only get one day (Cinco De Mayo) and my Native American peeps have no days at all....hmmmm



Actual Bluebook value of car 500.oo, shiny big rims 5,ooo.oo Looking cool...priceless?


Why do people spend a grip for rims on a car they are still makin payments on?





Why is it that some females spend hours getting their look just right. Their hair impeccable, their make-up flawless...and after all of that when someone looks their way....the first thing they say is "What Are You Looking At!!!!!!"






Is the Secret Service gonna be working overtime if Obama really wins?

Am I the only person who thinks that Mccain has freakishly short arms?

How do you take the Team of Obama and Clinton serious after you spent most of the year watching them take jabs at each other...hmmmm

If Security Guards are supposed to make me feel secure...why do most of them look like my 13 yeard old daughter could kick their butts...




Okay that feels better...now I can get back to work

A I said a couple of post back my boss is a jerk. That guy always has me working on something "Important." My wife said she is going to have to talk to that guy...it's not going to be pretty for him.

This week has been a pretty interesting one...


Party In My Yard...

It would appear that someone has sent out invitations stating that their is a party going on in my back yard or something. First the rabbits showed up. Out of all of the yards they pick mine. Just when I get my yard nice and green and looking good...the rabbits decide to invite themselves and have a free for all eating my new grass.

Since the rabbits have been visiting I often find myself looking out the window watching them instead of working. I was working and looking the other day when I saw something moving around in the far corner of my back yard. It looked to big to be a rabbit. I went to the window to look and noticed someone in my neighbor's yard. I have seen the guy around before, he shows up on my street every once in a while looking to do yard work to hustle up some money.

I assumed that my neighbor hired him to do some work for her, so Ireturned to my desk and went back to work. Just as I was sitting down I looked out the window and saw the guy jump the fence and enter my back yard...he looked like he had lost something...out of curiosity I watched him to see what he was doing...(actually I was debating if I should grab my camera...you never know when a good youtube moment might come your way.

The guy kept strolling across my back yard as if he had lost something...I had to switch to a different window in the office so I could follow him. He continued straight across my back yard, hopped the fence into the neighbor's yard and from there he jumped the fence again landing in another neighbor's yard...this time he stopped as if he had found what he was looking for. He bent over and when he came back up into view he had a lawnmower in his hands...he looked around tossed the lawnmower over the fence and the hopped over the fence and disappeared with the lawnmower...of course by then I had called the police. Now I am wondering if that time he asked to cut my lawn if he had a stolen lawnmower. (No I didn't let him cut my lawn)

The next day I was sitting at the desk trying to get some work done when I noticed the neighbor's cat climbing up and around my Bar-B-Q Grill...and I'm thinking is there an invitation to my yard floating around somewhere that I don't know about...


Update on my Social Experiment...

If you have been here before then you are probably aware that I am conducting a social experiment. It's pretty fun you should try it. Since April I have been practicing telling people no. Usually I go out of my way to help people but I am learning that in some cases I do more damage than good, because some of them fail to learn and they continue to come to me and expect for me to bail them out of trouble. It probably seems mean but it really is for their own good. Since I have been telling people no...I am learning who my true friends really are and who was just around for what they thought I could do for them. I did a short experiment like this before on accident. My wife and I were playing with the phone one weekend and recorded a voice mail message that simply said "hello" tricking the caller into thinking that we had answered the phone....they would be two minutes into their message only to be interrupted by the sound of my wife and I laughing hysterically. We were going to change it the same day but we noticed that the message sort of worked like a filter...the people who had been rehearsing the lines they were going to use on us were disarmed by the message and gave up their attempts to scam us...we left it on for a few weeks and had a little fun with it...


Stupid is contagious...

You may not believe it but stupid really is contagious! If you can avoid talking to or interacting with stupid people...Do IT! Now I understand why my mentor always told me "Never Argue with a Fool..the onlookers won't be able to tell which of you is the fool!" I always heard him say that, and for the most part I have tried to practice that...recently however I ignorantly managed to get myself into a conflict with a stupid person. I say ignorantly because I knew they were dumb...I just didn't know they were stupid...before long I was raising my voice and acting a fool...and that's not even how I behave...then it dawned on me that the person was stupid and it was rubbing off on me. I quickly scheduled an appointment and received my stupid vaccinations and now I'm all better :) Warning: Stay away from stupid..if you have to be around stupid or worse if you work with or for stupid people here are a few pointers for when you have to deal with them:

Turn your brain off: This may be a challenge especially if you are intelligent...but when you are dealing with stupid you must not...I repeat...you must not think...because you will be tempted to use logic and reason with this individual and it will drive you mad! Simply hold your breath to minimize oxygen to the brain and if possible refrain from responding. If you must respond use the following technique;


Blindman's Bluff: This will help you refrain from thinking and disarm you opponent. When they talk stare blankly in their direction. Look just to the outside of one of their ears, no matter how hard they try to make eye contact...don't let them. If they come close then simply cross your eyes and stare blankly in their direction.

Monkey See...Monkey Do: Dealing with stupid people tends to leave the smarter person (you) confused. To avoid losing it you must make the stupid person aware of their condition. You can accomplish this by doing the first two steps and by adding the Monkey See Monkey Do. In this step you subtly begin to mimic the stupid persons posture and mannerisms...and then gradually begin repeating back to them the last three words they said. If you want to make it even more interesting you can talk to them Jeopardy style using sentences that are in the form of a questions...or my favorite talk to them using sentences formed using the titles of movies and songs.

I guarantee you that if you use these tips you wont have to worry about dealing with a stupid boss or co-worker ever again.



My boss is telling me that I need to add a disclaimer: Use these techniques at your own risk..in the case that you get fired for using these...look on the bright side...at least you don't have to deal with the stupid boss anymore. Now to try this out on my boss...I think I'm gonna need a mirror!

Most of the time when I am writing about one thing...a million different ideas began jumping popping up in my head. If someone were to actually try and read any of my journals they would probably get lost because I just write it as it pops up, and then I go through later and piece the related sections together like a puzzle. Might sound confusing but it works for me.

As of late, when I began writing about my father, my thinker has been working overtime. A lot of different thoughts and ideas have been popping up and for the first time in a long while I have had to take a real hard look at some things.

One of those things I have had to look at is how my dad treated me as a kid. My dad was heavy handed and rough. His emotional attache consisted of just one emotion and that was anger...at least that was the way it appeared to me as a little kid. Mercy was definitely not one of his strong points.

My dad was hard on my brothers and I...and the truth is I resented the way he did things for years. It wasn't until I was older that I began to take a different perspective on the matter.

Don't get me wrong I still think he could have done things better, but I am learning how to look at life the way he saw it and try to understand what he was trying to accomplish. His choice to be hard on his sons was an attempt to prepare us and protect us from what he believed to be a tough and cruel world.

As I look back on some of the trials, challenges and obstacles I have faced, I can't help but wonder if the outcome would have been the same if my dad had not been like he was.

My own challenge as a parent has been making sure that I don't make the same mistakes my dad did...but at the same time making sure that I don't pamper and baby my children leaving them unprepared for some of the harshness they might experience once they are outside of my protective circle. (It's a mistake that I have seen many parents make.)

Now that I am thinking about some of my decisions probably might seem to be hard as far as my kids are concerned...but unlike my dad I try my best to help them understand that life in our circle is one thing...outside of it it is a totally different world...and it's my job to make sure you are ready for it.

More on this later...

I wonder how many Mr. Wendalls there are that have wisdom and insight that they could share with us...but are overlooked by people and society. I used to be blind to the Mr. Wendall's of the world myself...until I lost virtually every material possession I had including my home. My own adventures with homelessness opened my eyes. I shared one of my experiences with a homeless person in the article "A Cup of Cappucino" when you get a chance I invite you to read it. In the mean time just relax and listen to Arrested Development tell the story of Mr Wendall...

Here's what's going on in my crazy world this week...


Friday the end of the week!

Not that it matters to me. Although there are some days that I do miss having a boss to be mad at. Now that I think about having a boss used to be fun. If I was having a bad day...it was the bosses fault. Monday thru Thursday I would be counting down the days until I didn't have to see my boss, and Friday would always be a good day because I knew over the weekend I wouldn't have to see my boss.

These days hating my boss is kind of counter productive as he and I are one in the same. Although at times I do blame him for all of my problems and for forcing me to have to work on the weekend, he just tells me to shut up and stop whining...(one of these days I'm gonna slap that guy!)

The Next Best Seller?

Other than hating my boss I have been hard at work writing. I have been working on my book and for a moment I had come to a standstill. It wasn't writer's block...it was more of a hesitation and a questioning if I really wanted to go down the road I was headed, but after a long hard 30 secs of debating I decided to go ahead...after all I wont mention any names and the way I see it no one will even know I'm talking about you unless you say something.

My Summer Love Affair

It seems like forever since we had seen each other...even then it was just passing glances...there where many times that I just wanted us to be together again...but there always seemed to be something or someone in our way...but now the we have been reunited and the fire has been rekindled...after months of no contact between us we were together again and it no time at all we were enjoying Hot...Steamy...Juicy...Steaks fresh off the grill. Yep that's right summer is here and I'm back on the grill (what did you think I was talkin about here!)


A Confession To Make...

Okay...so they say confession is good for the soul...so I have a confession to make. I intentionally posted something with the sole intention of making someone (who will remain nameless) laugh out loud at her job. I knew that only two people in the world would read that post and find it hilarious...I confess that I knew when she read it she would be motivated to yell at her computer screen and burst into laughter and I apologize for that. Even though I did add a warning/disclosure statement at the beginning of the post. I would like to promise that I wont do it again...but you and I know that would be a lie...so with that said...you must learn the art of the silent chuckle...either that or keep getting up and excusing yourself then go into the bathroom and laugh your head off..then once you are done...regain your composure and return to your desk (you may repeat this process as many times as needed.)



okay that's enough for now...my boss is telling me to get some real work done...that guy's a jerk!

I started a two part series on AC Content this week titled Like Father Like Like Son??? In the first part of the series I poked a bit of fun at some of my dad's hilarious antics.

My dad was always doing something zany and hilarious and I can have a good laugh about it now, back then I didn't think it was all that funny. Most people who know my dad know that I am telling the truth, but a lot of people think that I make this stuff up. Imagination is fun but the truth is always more colorful...besides who could dream up stuff like blowing up a city block or swinging livestock (dead livestock) from a tree. Nope this stuff really happened. (you have to read the article)

In the second part of the article I'll pick up where I left off, but I'm going to go in a different direction, so be sure to catch it it will include even more crazy antics...question is whose will they be...his...or mine. Has the apple fallen far from the tree...hmmm you won't know until you read it.

Father's day has come and gone, and it time for me to get back to into the swing of things. I treated myself to an impromptu vacation for a few days. Actually the truth is I really needed those few days to sort our some of the thoughts that were running around my head about Father's Day.

I don't talk about it much but it has been 4 years since my father passed away. I know you aren't supposed to talk bad about the dearly departed...but I think my Dad got me again!

Since I was a kid my Dad always had to have the last laugh. He was the most stubbornest person in the world (second to me) As I grew older I actually thought that I could reason with him and that he would actually acknowledge that I was right for a change...but it never played out that way. I would try to talk to him and just when I thought I had proven my point...he would dismiss me by saying "I'm right and your wrong because I'm the dad!

After years of losing I gave up trying to reason with that guy, and once I joined the military and left home I didn't look back. Every once in awhile when I would call home, I would have this small hope that maybe he would let me get a word in..but he would always manage to say his fill and then just as I was about to express myself he would pass the phone to my mother.

If it wasn't for my wife I probably would have never try talking to him ever again...but God bless my wife for helping me see that if I didn't forgive my dad for his antics that I would be sowing bad seeds for my relationship with my own son. (I still remember arguing with her demanding that she not send that man a Father's Day card...she never did listen to me LOL)

As the years went by and I began to grow up a little (just a little) I no longer felt the need to get a word in edgewise and I actually learned how to beat him to the punch. When we would talk on the phone I would let him fuss or say whatever he wanted to me...but once I felt like it was enough I knew just how to shut him up...I would pause...take a deep breath...and the say Dad, I love you...and every time it would catch him off guard and he would quickly toss the phone to my mom. :) (It was beautiful and entertained me to no end)

The years continued to go by and I actually managed to have some real conversations with him on the phone. When he called me a few years ago and asked me to come home and help him out...I didn't hesitate...I said goodbye to my friends and my west coast family and made the move back to the Midwest. All during the drive back home I was entertaining the notion that I would finally get to spend some time with my Dad and get to know him...unfortunately two days after arriving back home...he passed away.

It finally dawned on me on Father's Day...that my Father knew I had swore never to come back to this place...and now I'm here and he's not...once again he has the last laugh!

This is for those less than perfect dad's like myself...they can be a pain...but ya gotta admit they are kid of funny

Wow it seems like a lot of different things have happened in the last few weeks. I have been in and out of the office on extremely important business (I categorically deny any and all rumors about my absence being due to obsessing over getting Level 10 weapons on the Dynasty Warriors 4 video game)

It appears that Hilary is gone (or is she?) and that Obama has begun the search for a VP. I must admit that I was entertaining the thought of nominating myself for the position, and running a campaign similar to that of Pedro's (Napoleon Dynamite) I wanted to use the same campaign promise as well...Vote for Obama and Barry and "All Your Wildest Dreams Will Come True!" Unfortunately Pedro is being a jerk and is demanding royalty money up front for using the slogan...so I'll just have to put my VP Plans on hold for the moment.

Aside from my video game obsessions and my lofty VP dreams, I have been working on my book and finishing several writing assignments. I have also been working on a social experiment. I mentioned a few(quite a few) post back that I was going to conduct an experiment to discover who my true friends are. I figured that my true friends would continue to be my friend even when I tell them no...whereas the people who are pretending to be friends with me for what they can get or for what I can do for them, will disappear once they see their well has dried up.

Sure enough my phone calls from people have been getting less and less, which is a good thing because now I don't have to suffer through their pretense. Now my phone calls are mostly those of pesky telemarketers which I am starting to find quite refreshing. I like to play fun games with them especially if I noticed that they have called me before. I can tell when they are too busy reading from a script and not listening to me so instead of letting them bother me or getting mad and hanging up, I make them get mad and hang up...which is sort of a dilemma for them because they aren't supposed to hang up. If my number wasn't on the Do Not Call list, then maybe I would feel bad (pause...not) but they insist on calling me at all hours of the day and night so it's fair game.

Some of them eventually get the message and stop calling, like the young lady who kept calling me about a bill that wasn't even mine, I grew tired of trying to explain that she had the wrong person so one day she called and began scolding me about my responsibilities...I sat and listened...mistaking my silence to mean that she had gotten through she asked me "Now Sir...What are Your Intentions regarding this bill? I replied "I have every intention on paying this bill in full! I waited for her to breathe a sigh of relief before I continued..."unfortunately my intentions and my money are not in agreement with each other today!" She hung up on me and I haven't heard from her or her company since.

Other than weeding out friends and teasing the telemarketers (say that five times fast) I have really been busy, I have a few articles scheduled for publishing at AC Content this Weekend for Father's Day be sure to check them out. In the meantime I will be on my best behavior since it is Father's Day Weekend.

That's it for now gotta go there's a telemarketer on the line and I have some new material I want to try out on them.

Have A Nice Weekend!

Okay, I guess I have been having enough fun for the last few days. As you know (for all my regular readers) my wife and I celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary this weekend. I knew I wanted to do something really special so like any good husband would do I took her to the zoo.

For those of you who happen to know me and the misses, then you know a trip to the zoo was perfect! A place for the both of us to go and hang out and have fun, but for those of you who don't think it was a good idea...first of all you have never been to the St Louis Zoo...it's awesome and second most guys have to do something extravagant or over the top for their anniversaries because during the rest of the year they neglect or overlook their wives...I treat my wife like a queen year round, I'm talking the works...breakfast in bed, 5 star lunches and dinners, foot rubs and sexy lap dances...the works...so when anniversary time rolls around our main goal is merely to go somewhere were we can just hang out for the day and enjoy each other's company.

Besides I thought the zoo would have been perfect because every time we have gone previously we have always had an entourage of kids with us...but not this weekend it was just me and her. We had a full day of playing and having fun like the big kids we are and we did it together...no phone calls...no interruptions just me and the Hawaiian flower I fell in love with 18 years ago.

I spent the entire day with a big smile on my face, and as we sat down to dinner later that evening I was appreciative of the fact that we still enjoy dating each other (although I probably could pencil a few more of them in during the year)

I learned a lot on our date at the zoo: I learned that we really were made for each other. I learned that both of us made the decision to "make it last forever" and that both of us will probably still be dating and behaving like honeymooners for the next 18 years and then some.

Looking back I am amazed at how fast the time has gone and at the same time I am amazingly aware of all of the joys, pains, battles, and triumphs we have gone through together...the loss of a child...losing our home and most of our material possessions starting over with nothing but each other and a few good friends...and 18 years later here we are still smiling and still loving each other.

It makes me wonder how people who have invested so much time and have experienced so much together can just walk away from each other...I don't know how they do it...the way I see it you can lose money...friends...things...and you can lose time...the first three can be replaced...but the last one can't no matter how hard you try. That's why I made up my mind long ago to not waste the time I that I have been blessed to spend with her.

18! 18 years of laughing and crying (mostly laughing so hard until we start crying) 18 years of adventures (some with old friends others where we made new friends) but most of all the Last 18 years have been filled with love.



Here's to the next 18 and beyond...

These days I am feeling like Dr Frankenstein, in the sense that I have created three monsters, and just like Frankenstein's monster they are bent on my destruction.

Well maybe not, but some days it sure feels like it. Maybe that is just my overly dramatic way of expressing the fact that my children are getting older and bigger.

Since they were little, I have been playing games with and entertaining my children. Actually let me rephrase that, I have been playing with them and entertaining myself at the same time. However now that they are getting older, bigger and smarter; I am am being forced to move quicker and think faster in order to keep up my old schemes.

I was reminded of this yesterday when I challenged my son to a game of basketball. Now once upon a time I would let him run around and tire himself out, I would even let him get a serious lead over me and then at the last minute use my height advantage and kill him with 3 point shots. That was the plan yesterday...but it didn't quite happen that way, as junior is getting pretty tall and pretty fast as well. That kid had me sucking wind and I could tell by the look in his eye that he had every intention of humiliating me on the court. I didn't want to use it but I had to access my crazy side...the part of my genetics that convinces me to put off all pain until tomorrow and play like a crazy man. It worked barely I squeaked out a win 21-18. Looks like I'm going to have to start hanging out with Billy again and get myself into shape.

One of the other monsters I created is the Creepy Clipper. Since my children were little they have been trying to master the art of stealthiness. I am known for sneaking up on them and scaring them...I have the unfair advantage of a devious mind and 10 years of military service. I just love the look of surprise on their faces when I appear out of nowhere and scare them. For years they have been trying to get me, but my military mind mixed with mild paranoia always keeps me two steps ahead of them. Somehow the youngest one has mastered the art of getting close enough to me to clip clothespins to me, letting me know that she was there. This often leaves me looking foolish as I walk around in public unaware with clothespins clipped to my clothing or to one of my braids. Even as a type this I am looking at a pile of collected clothespins I have discovered clipped to me while sitting at my desk.

I would tell you about the other monsters but right now I think I hear one of them coming...but this time I will be ready for them....

I was checking my drama meter and noticed I was getting a bit low, so I decided to stir up a bit of trouble for myself. I published an article early this morning dealing with the subject of Barack Obama and his bid for the Presidency. It's titled Top Ten Fears Blocking Barack Obama from Becoming President of The United States

I was prompted to write the article after cleaning out all of the junk email I had received warning me of the evil disguised as Barack Obama. I can't believe that there are still people armed with their 6th grade edumacation sitting at the computers spreading the word and warning all of the good Christian Folk that Obama is going to become president and sell their sons and daughters into slavery. Some even say he is the anti-christ...(silly me I thought it was Nikolai Carpaithia)

Any way you can check out the article and tell me what you think, keep in mind however that it's all tongue in cheek, so don't send me any hate mail or put a hex on my family LOL

...when you are having fun!


And fun is exactly what I have been having for the past 18 years. This week my wife and I will celebrate our 18th Wedding Anniversary! It seems like it was just yesterday when I was throwing rocks at her barracks window to see if she wanted to tag along with me and a friend on one of our Sizzler runs.

It's funny when I think about it because she was like a cool friend someone I wouldn't mind hanging out with. I remember complaining to her about how much I hated San Francisco and California, she asked me what had I done or what places I had visited since I had been there...I told her nothing and nowhere...with the exception of a few visits to a mall and the Sizzler. She told me to hold my opinion until I had actually experienced the place.

She was a really good friend and I enjoyed being around her. I knew it was something more when she became sick and had to spend a few days in the hospital. I would go and visit her everyday after work. The hospital was in Oakland and I didn't have a car at the time, so I was catching a cab from San Francisco to Oakland everyday...at almost $60.00 a trip.

It didn't take long for the both of us to realize that we were the two and after a few months of hanging out with each other we decided to get married. There were those who questioned if it was too soon to get married...but we just knew...and here we are 18 years later still having fun...holding hands...waking up smiling at each other.

Like I said time really does fly when you are having fun...I can't wait to see what the next 18 years has in store for us.