The End Of The Week...Already?
A I said a couple of post back my boss is a jerk. That guy always has me working on something "Important." My wife said she is going to have to talk to that guy...it's not going to be pretty for him.
This week has been a pretty interesting one...
Party In My Yard...
It would appear that someone has sent out invitations stating that their is a party going on in my back yard or something. First the rabbits showed up. Out of all of the yards they pick mine. Just when I get my yard nice and green and looking good...the rabbits decide to invite themselves and have a free for all eating my new grass.
Since the rabbits have been visiting I often find myself looking out the window watching them instead of working. I was working and looking the other day when I saw something moving around in the far corner of my back yard. It looked to big to be a rabbit. I went to the window to look and noticed someone in my neighbor's yard. I have seen the guy around before, he shows up on my street every once in a while looking to do yard work to hustle up some money.
I assumed that my neighbor hired him to do some work for her, so Ireturned to my desk and went back to work. Just as I was sitting down I looked out the window and saw the guy jump the fence and enter my back yard...he looked like he had lost something...out of curiosity I watched him to see what he was doing...(actually I was debating if I should grab my camera...you never know when a good youtube moment might come your way.
The guy kept strolling across my back yard as if he had lost something...I had to switch to a different window in the office so I could follow him. He continued straight across my back yard, hopped the fence into the neighbor's yard and from there he jumped the fence again landing in another neighbor's yard...this time he stopped as if he had found what he was looking for. He bent over and when he came back up into view he had a lawnmower in his hands...he looked around tossed the lawnmower over the fence and the hopped over the fence and disappeared with the lawnmower...of course by then I had called the police. Now I am wondering if that time he asked to cut my lawn if he had a stolen lawnmower. (No I didn't let him cut my lawn)
The next day I was sitting at the desk trying to get some work done when I noticed the neighbor's cat climbing up and around my Bar-B-Q Grill...and I'm thinking is there an invitation to my yard floating around somewhere that I don't know about...
Update on my Social Experiment...
If you have been here before then you are probably aware that I am conducting a social experiment. It's pretty fun you should try it. Since April I have been practicing telling people no. Usually I go out of my way to help people but I am learning that in some cases I do more damage than good, because some of them fail to learn and they continue to come to me and expect for me to bail them out of trouble. It probably seems mean but it really is for their own good. Since I have been telling people no...I am learning who my true friends really are and who was just around for what they thought I could do for them. I did a short experiment like this before on accident. My wife and I were playing with the phone one weekend and recorded a voice mail message that simply said "hello" tricking the caller into thinking that we had answered the phone....they would be two minutes into their message only to be interrupted by the sound of my wife and I laughing hysterically. We were going to change it the same day but we noticed that the message sort of worked like a filter...the people who had been rehearsing the lines they were going to use on us were disarmed by the message and gave up their attempts to scam us...we left it on for a few weeks and had a little fun with it...
Stupid is contagious...
You may not believe it but stupid really is contagious! If you can avoid talking to or interacting with stupid people...Do IT! Now I understand why my mentor always told me "Never Argue with a Fool..the onlookers won't be able to tell which of you is the fool!" I always heard him say that, and for the most part I have tried to practice that...recently however I ignorantly managed to get myself into a conflict with a stupid person. I say ignorantly because I knew they were dumb...I just didn't know they were stupid...before long I was raising my voice and acting a fool...and that's not even how I behave...then it dawned on me that the person was stupid and it was rubbing off on me. I quickly scheduled an appointment and received my stupid vaccinations and now I'm all better :) Warning: Stay away from stupid..if you have to be around stupid or worse if you work with or for stupid people here are a few pointers for when you have to deal with them:
Turn your brain off: This may be a challenge especially if you are intelligent...but when you are dealing with stupid you must not...I repeat...you must not think...because you will be tempted to use logic and reason with this individual and it will drive you mad! Simply hold your breath to minimize oxygen to the brain and if possible refrain from responding. If you must respond use the following technique;
Blindman's Bluff: This will help you refrain from thinking and disarm you opponent. When they talk stare blankly in their direction. Look just to the outside of one of their ears, no matter how hard they try to make eye contact...don't let them. If they come close then simply cross your eyes and stare blankly in their direction.
Monkey See...Monkey Do: Dealing with stupid people tends to leave the smarter person (you) confused. To avoid losing it you must make the stupid person aware of their condition. You can accomplish this by doing the first two steps and by adding the Monkey See Monkey Do. In this step you subtly begin to mimic the stupid persons posture and mannerisms...and then gradually begin repeating back to them the last three words they said. If you want to make it even more interesting you can talk to them Jeopardy style using sentences that are in the form of a questions...or my favorite talk to them using sentences formed using the titles of movies and songs.
I guarantee you that if you use these tips you wont have to worry about dealing with a stupid boss or co-worker ever again.
My boss is telling me that I need to add a disclaimer: Use these techniques at your own risk..in the case that you get fired for using these...look on the bright side...at least you don't have to deal with the stupid boss anymore. Now to try this out on my boss...I think I'm gonna need a mirror!
This week has been a pretty interesting one...
Party In My Yard...
It would appear that someone has sent out invitations stating that their is a party going on in my back yard or something. First the rabbits showed up. Out of all of the yards they pick mine. Just when I get my yard nice and green and looking good...the rabbits decide to invite themselves and have a free for all eating my new grass.
Since the rabbits have been visiting I often find myself looking out the window watching them instead of working. I was working and looking the other day when I saw something moving around in the far corner of my back yard. It looked to big to be a rabbit. I went to the window to look and noticed someone in my neighbor's yard. I have seen the guy around before, he shows up on my street every once in a while looking to do yard work to hustle up some money.
I assumed that my neighbor hired him to do some work for her, so Ireturned to my desk and went back to work. Just as I was sitting down I looked out the window and saw the guy jump the fence and enter my back yard...he looked like he had lost something...out of curiosity I watched him to see what he was doing...(actually I was debating if I should grab my camera...you never know when a good youtube moment might come your way.
The guy kept strolling across my back yard as if he had lost something...I had to switch to a different window in the office so I could follow him. He continued straight across my back yard, hopped the fence into the neighbor's yard and from there he jumped the fence again landing in another neighbor's yard...this time he stopped as if he had found what he was looking for. He bent over and when he came back up into view he had a lawnmower in his hands...he looked around tossed the lawnmower over the fence and the hopped over the fence and disappeared with the lawnmower...of course by then I had called the police. Now I am wondering if that time he asked to cut my lawn if he had a stolen lawnmower. (No I didn't let him cut my lawn)
The next day I was sitting at the desk trying to get some work done when I noticed the neighbor's cat climbing up and around my Bar-B-Q Grill...and I'm thinking is there an invitation to my yard floating around somewhere that I don't know about...
Update on my Social Experiment...
If you have been here before then you are probably aware that I am conducting a social experiment. It's pretty fun you should try it. Since April I have been practicing telling people no. Usually I go out of my way to help people but I am learning that in some cases I do more damage than good, because some of them fail to learn and they continue to come to me and expect for me to bail them out of trouble. It probably seems mean but it really is for their own good. Since I have been telling people no...I am learning who my true friends really are and who was just around for what they thought I could do for them. I did a short experiment like this before on accident. My wife and I were playing with the phone one weekend and recorded a voice mail message that simply said "hello" tricking the caller into thinking that we had answered the phone....they would be two minutes into their message only to be interrupted by the sound of my wife and I laughing hysterically. We were going to change it the same day but we noticed that the message sort of worked like a filter...the people who had been rehearsing the lines they were going to use on us were disarmed by the message and gave up their attempts to scam us...we left it on for a few weeks and had a little fun with it...
Stupid is contagious...
You may not believe it but stupid really is contagious! If you can avoid talking to or interacting with stupid people...Do IT! Now I understand why my mentor always told me "Never Argue with a Fool..the onlookers won't be able to tell which of you is the fool!" I always heard him say that, and for the most part I have tried to practice that...recently however I ignorantly managed to get myself into a conflict with a stupid person. I say ignorantly because I knew they were dumb...I just didn't know they were stupid...before long I was raising my voice and acting a fool...and that's not even how I behave...then it dawned on me that the person was stupid and it was rubbing off on me. I quickly scheduled an appointment and received my stupid vaccinations and now I'm all better :) Warning: Stay away from stupid..if you have to be around stupid or worse if you work with or for stupid people here are a few pointers for when you have to deal with them:
Turn your brain off: This may be a challenge especially if you are intelligent...but when you are dealing with stupid you must not...I repeat...you must not think...because you will be tempted to use logic and reason with this individual and it will drive you mad! Simply hold your breath to minimize oxygen to the brain and if possible refrain from responding. If you must respond use the following technique;
Blindman's Bluff: This will help you refrain from thinking and disarm you opponent. When they talk stare blankly in their direction. Look just to the outside of one of their ears, no matter how hard they try to make eye contact...don't let them. If they come close then simply cross your eyes and stare blankly in their direction.
Monkey See...Monkey Do: Dealing with stupid people tends to leave the smarter person (you) confused. To avoid losing it you must make the stupid person aware of their condition. You can accomplish this by doing the first two steps and by adding the Monkey See Monkey Do. In this step you subtly begin to mimic the stupid persons posture and mannerisms...and then gradually begin repeating back to them the last three words they said. If you want to make it even more interesting you can talk to them Jeopardy style using sentences that are in the form of a questions...or my favorite talk to them using sentences formed using the titles of movies and songs.
I guarantee you that if you use these tips you wont have to worry about dealing with a stupid boss or co-worker ever again.
My boss is telling me that I need to add a disclaimer: Use these techniques at your own risk..in the case that you get fired for using these...look on the bright side...at least you don't have to deal with the stupid boss anymore. Now to try this out on my boss...I think I'm gonna need a mirror!
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