Defiant Kids...
Being the analyst that I am (my wife calls it being nosey) I often notice that there seems to be a lot of out of control kids these days. When I say Out of control, I don't necessarily mean bad, it's just that these kids are very determined not to listen to their parents.
I always cringe when I see this because I have flashbacks to my own childhood. My parents were old school. There was no bargaining and from day one they let it be known that their household was not a democracy...there would be no voting or consideration of opinions. In fact their motto was when they wanted my opinion...they would give it to me.
My parents, unlike many parents of today, were not afraid to be the bad guys! They had no problem at all with hurting my feelings if it would keep me alive and keep me from becoming a menace to society. During my adolescence, I didn't quite understand it, but now as an adult with children of my own I can clearly see it.
When it comes to dealing with my own children, I take a different approach. Like my parents before me, my household is not a democracy, but at the same time i constantly wok on making sure that my children know and understand that they can trust the decisions that I make. As much as it pains me sometimes I also admit when I am wrong. Unlike my parents I also try to be as transparent as I can be...instead of telling them them to be nice to people I let them observe and catch me in the act of doing it myself.
When my children were small I didn't negotiate with them I made sure they they clearly knew that there such things as boundaries and when they are crossed there are consequences. Now that they are teenagers I find that those early lessons have paid off.
I might just be old school but I think too many parents are taking advice from people who don't even have children, and they are trying too hard to be their friends. Here's my two cents mom and dad...they will have plenty of friends but you are the only parents they will have...so be the parent!
What Do You Think? Are today's parents push-overs?
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Michelle · 867 weeks ago
I have always tried to be the parent and not the friend. My daughter has had so many friends who'd mothers were 'so cool' and yet the girls were totally out of control. When they would come over they would have absolutely no respect for my authority (which I would let them know in a heartbeat wasn't going to fly) and they had no manners to speak of, or how to address adults. Kids have enough friends out there, we need to teach them to be responsible for their actions.
One more thing and then I'm going to leave some space here for other readers...I think a lot of parents are afraid of their kids. Back in the day, it was OK, or just not noticed, to spank or discipline your kids. Now they teach the kids in school from a very early age about abuse and calling 911. What they don't teach them is the difference between abuse and discipline. I had both of my kids tell me they were gonna call the cops on me because I was abusing them by sending them to their rooms in the middle of dinner (starving them, lol). They learned this in the schools. If our schools and government tells us that we can't discipline our kids, then we are in for a really chaotic next generation of adults. Some parents are scared to put their foot down, or to take charge for fear of getting in to trouble.
Great post, it got me thinking which I haven't done very much of lately :)
mmog37 29p · 867 weeks ago
You make some very valid point. I was thinking the same thing about the video...I think the only kid buying that would be a toddler. I'm all for giving children respect but I think that people try to hard to treat them like little adults and they are not...I'm also for giving a kid positive comments as well as constructive criticism when needed...but trying to play the Jedi Mind trick on them when overly enthusiastic praising....I don't know about that :0
Thanks again for commenting:-)