I was just thinking...

 

  My mind was full of many things as I watched the Inauguration of our 44th President Barak Obama.  In fact it was so full I needed to take a minute to sort out my thoughts before I could begin to write about it.  To help sort things I started doodling and ended up with the above sketch.  

  As a forty year old African American male, I am ashamed to admit that I actually thought that I would never see a person of color occupy the position of President.  Although I admit to being ashamed of this that does not omit the fact that there was a ton of evidence and experiences to support my my inability to picture such a thing happening.  Don't get me wrong, I have always been hopeful that a time would come when people would be able to see beyond the color of a person's skin and weigh them merely on the basis of who they were and what they had to offer, I just thought that time was still far off, and even though we now have an African American President I still feel that we are far from that place of racial equality.

I thought about this a lot during last year, probably a lot more than recent years, I even did a short piece joking about why we could not afford to vote for an African American for President (see Top Ten Fears Blocking Barak Obama from becoming President).  Ironically the basis I used for that piece, played a major role in my own inability to see an African American as President.  You see, even with all of the encouragement from teachers and mentors telling me and other minority children that we could be whatever we wanted to be when we grew up, there were very few positive images of us in the media holding spots like President, and when they did manage to show up in those type of roles something bad usually happened like the world being destroyed.

As I said I had a lot of thought going through my head, and I am still sorting them, but here is the short version of what was going on my head in regards to Barak Obama becoming the next President of the United States of America:

I was happy that Obama won, happy for him and his family that their hardwork had paid off, happy to see we had elected a President who appears to really love his wife and family (because for me next to God family is everything) happy that for all of those people who needed to see someone who looked like them in a positive light could finally have a glimmer of hope and a sense of belonging and be encouraged to aim higher.

I was sad that even though Barak had won, that there were still many people who aren't as open to change as they thought they were, sad as I recalled the contrasting images of the audiences at Barak's acceptance speech and McCain's concesion speech, because they reminded me that the real color divide in America is not Red & Blue...

I was hopeful that maybe, just maybe some people will begin to be open to change, hopeful that some of the people who felt like outsiders, would now be motivated to push past the limitations set on them by others and pursue their dreams, hopeful that these "outsiders" would now feel like they had a vested interest and began to get involved and take personal pride in their own lives and communities and not wait for someone else to do it for them.  I was even hopeful that people might just begin to check their own motives and reasoning and see what really drives them

I was excited, excited because I felt like I was living in an Historic Moment, excited to share this moment in time with my wife and children, excited to see both young and old alike coming together to share the moment, excited for those of the older generation breathing a sigh of relief and having their hope renewed, excited to see so many people taking an interest in what was going on, excited to see the World pause and take notice...

I was convicted for my lack of vision, convicted as I began to realize that I have grown complacent where I am in my own world, convicted for not considering the people who need to see me, interact with and learn from me and me from them as well, convicted as I soul searched and investigated my own stereotypes and preferences

I was inspired...inspired to do better than I have ever done.  Inspired to reach for more, not for the sake of more but for the sake of being all I can be and for those who might come behind me, inspred to hang up my settlers cap and replace with that of the pioneer.

  

Regardless of all my emotions I realize that our country and economic system are in a fragile state, I realize that our President has a big job ahead of him as do the American People, I am reminded to pray for him and the other World Leaders, to pray for the people who are suffering and even those who have the means that they will begin to feel compassion and be moved to help those they can. 

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I'm still sorting things out, so I'm pretty sure I will be revisiting this in the future.  How about you?  What thoughts or emotions filled your head and heart during the Inauguration if any?